Steps In The Right Direction....

Greetings,

I can only imagine the hoards of disappointed readers logging onto my blog over the last four months only to find that I haven't posted anything. So I apologise....to both of you.

On reflection, it's been quite eventful comedy-wise but I didn't feel like anything had actually happened so didnt bother getting my blog on. I'll start by talking about the open mic night I went to in Winchester that I mentioned in my last post. It can really be summed up in five words, a "complete waste of my time". All the info online said the night was going ahead but didn't say what time it started, so I thought I'd play it safe and get there for about half seven. That way, if it started at seven I'd be fashionably late, if it started at eight I'd be fashionably early. It started at nine. Which isn't the end of the world but it meant I was sat in a pub in a city I wasn't familiar with on my own for an hour and a half. And to make matters worse, I didn't have any cash on me and I happened to be in the only establishment on planet Earth that didn't accept card payment so I spent my time reading a book and drinking tap water. There was nothing fashionable about that. When nine o'clock rolled up the MC came on stage and said "I hope none of you have travelled far to be here because only one of the comedians have turned up, so let's welcome to the stage the comedian". He did his five minutes and the night was over. I was tucked up in bed by half ten and not an inch closer to a gig. But I did learn one very valuable lesson - always take cash to The Railway Inn in Winchester!

A week or so later I took my girlfriend to an open mic in Southampton at a pub called The Shooting Star. It was a good start when I saw there were a good amount of people there, some of them had to be comedians. In fact there were about eight or nine acts on that night and it was a full spectrum in terms of standard. I'd say there must of been 30 or so people watching and 28 of them were a great crowd. There was one guy stood at the bar that spent the whole night giving a slurred running commentary on the proceedings. He was annoying but harmless. But there was also a girl sat at the front that took it on herself to critique every act as they performed. The MC must have told her to shut up ten times but she really didn't get the hint. She wasn't particularly offensive with her heckles but she was a persistant little bitch. I was sat in front her and had to restrain myself from punching her in the trachea. I remember one comedian made a joke about what he would say to his 18 year old self if he could, knowing what he now knows and she looked at him, cocked her head to one side, squinted a bit and said loudly "Bit pretentious. Who are you to tell 18 year olds what to do." HE WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF YOU FUCKING IDIOT. I'm not sure if you can tell but she ruined my night and I haven't been back since.

I also took a train ride to London to check out an open mic night there with a friend of mine who lives there now and told me about it. It's called Touching Cloth at Dirty Dick's pub opposite Liverpool Street Station. I was pretty apprehensive about what to expect, both in terms of standard of comedy and audience hostility but I was really pleasantly surprised. The comedians were very funny, some of them were funny to the point that I couldn't believe it was an open mic night. The crowd were really up for it and well behaved and there were good numbers too, maybe 40 or so in the audience. It was a really good night and inspired me to book a gig there, which I did.

Dirty Dick's pub in London

My gig was on Wednesday 28th March. The rules of gigging at Touching Cloth are that you have to be there by 7.30 to register because there is a huge volume of walk-ins that want a spot so you have to get there before they start giving your spot to the walk-ins. My train should of got me there at 6.45 but there were "signalling errors" on the track so I didn't get to the pub until 7.36 and my spot had already been given away. They weren't messing around when they said 7.30! I explained to the MC that I had been on a train for two and a half hours and was very sorry for being late but was there anything he could do. After a little thinking time he decided to squeeze me in, which I was very grateful for because I was beginning to think that I was destined to never gig again. The gig itself went OK I think. I got laughs where I wanted to, but they weren't huge belly laughs. I don't feel like I warmed myself to the audience very well which at least can be worked on but my gig might of gone better had I done. I'll just put it down to nerves and the stress of the journey. That way I don't have to put it down to the fact that I'm an arsehole that audiences can't relate to.

On the way back from the gig I managed to lose my train ticket on the tube and had to pay for another ticket home, so not only did I get to the venue late and almost blow my set due to nerves, the whole night cost me just under 80 quid ($120 to my Aussie and American chums). I don't know about you but that's a lot of dough for me.

I'm definitely going to book another spot there though because it's a great night and a fun place to gig.

My last piece of news is that, just before logging in to write this blog, I received an email from the organisers of the So You Think You're Funny competition asking me to call them so I can book my spot for the heats of the competition. I'm pretty happy with this if it works out because it means, without having to actually do anything, I have made it through the application stage which is a bit of a lottery in itself.

So hopefully my next blog will contain a bit more information on this. And it might even be within the next four months. But you'll have to come back to find out!


Thanks for reading,

Sean

Slow Going At Home........

 Bonjorno,

Life is hard. I've been back about 6 weeks now and my life has gone from care free and stress free, to stressful and generally a bit wank. When I was travelling, a job in a factory was fine and living on two minute noodles and drinking wine from a bag seemed like I was King Of The World. Doing those things at home seems like I've become exactly what my teachers thought I would. Nothing.

I have, indeed, started a job as a factory worker, working for a company which manufactures lenses for glasses. It couldn't be more boring and uninspiring for writing comedy. I have my moments where I think I've come up with a joke that is pure genius. Then I realise that my thoughts can't be trusted when my mind is so numb that watching a fly buzz around the factory seems like a genuine form of entertainment. I write it down anyway and usually discard it when I get home.

I haven't had any gigs on my home turf yet. I am keen to start getting gigs under my belt but it's quite difficult when the nearest gigs are an expensive but short train ride away. I have made enquiries though and I'm heading to Winchester on Thursday night to check out an open mic night there. Hopefully I can get myself a gig next month if all goes well. I am a bit paranoid that I'll find English audiences all to be aggressive hecklers but I guess there's only one way to find out. I have also found another weekly open mic night in Southampton that I plan on checking out. I would of liked to have sorted some gigs by now but, unfortunately, finding work was the priority. No matter how hard I tried to put it off.

I have taken one, fairly exciting step to becoming a regular gigger in the UK. Over the last month or so I have kept my eyes peeled for entries to open for So You Think You're Funny?, which is an annual competition to find Britain's best new comedian. Past winners have included Peter Kay and Bill Bailey so it isn't to be sniffed at! Entries opened last week and I have posted off my application, so fingers crossed I get asked to perform somewhen soon. From what I can make out, I would have to perform eight minutes of material at a heat somewhere in the South. Then the judges select 70-ish of their favourites to perform in the finals which are held over the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August. The winner receives two thousand pounds and a spot on the Best Of British Show at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal. Nice prize.

Other than that, not a lot has been going on comedy wise. The more I think about it, the more I want to get the ball rolling so I think it's time to pull my finger out and get shit done. The next time you hear from me, I promise to have made positive strides and maybe even get myself a gig booked.

On a quick final note, I just want to say that every time I read a status update from my old comedy chum Dil Ruk back in Melbourne, I get more and more jealous and proud in equal measures. He seems to be going from strength to strength with his comedy and this is basically a note to, once again, claim to be friends with him so that when he's a professional comedian he can look after me and get me paid gigs and free booze! Do you hear this Dil?!

Thanks again for reading.

Lots of love

Sean

Classis Peter Kay One Liners......