A lot has changed in the last few weeks since my last post. I was so so close to my New Zealand debut it's not even funny. And now I'm hundreds of miles away from Auckland with no idea when I will get a chance to perform next. It's a bit frustrating really.
It's probably best if I start from the beginning.
So, a couple of weeks ago my girlfriend and I attended one of the open mic nights in Auckland with a view to putting my name down to have a go the week after. It was a funny little bar called Snatch that was hosting the evening. It was a tiny venue with seating for around 15 people and the stage was right next to the bar and was all of about 3 square metres in size. It seemed pretty trendy though and I remember thinking that I would definitely be keen to have a go there. There were only 4 guys on that night, the MC making five, and some of my fears were put to rest about how my sense of humour would go down in New Zealand. The standard of the comedy was about the same as in Australia (which isn't too bad considering it's open mic) although there were only a couple of real laughs during the hour or so that in ran for. It's probably un-sportsman-like to say, but I was pleased to see that they weren't great because it made me think that I could get up and do equally well or better than them.
The one thing that did worry me a bit though is how clean they all seemed to be. I don't think there was one swear word throughout the night and certainly nothing vulgar was discussed. My routine isn't the most filthy or controversial in the world but I would have stood out like a sore thumb had I been on that night. I would like to think that the laughs were few and far between because the subject matter was quite weak, but if Kiwi's don't find sexual material and mildly discrimianting stuff funny, I'm fucked.
We also got talking to one of the comedians afterwards and he asked me what you should never say to an Englishman. I said not to call football "Soccer", because it's not "Soccer", it's football. He thanked me and went to write it down, at which point Susie said "Oh look, he has a little notepad like yours, how cute". Nice one Sooz, way to make us both feel like cocks.
Not that it matters because three days after going to the open mic night, we quit our jobs due to the mountain of things going wrong finally taking it's toll, and left Auckland on a bus that has so far taken us all the way to the very bottom of the North Island, and tomorrow we get on the ferry to take us to the South Island. When I think about it, I guess there are both negatives and positives to leaving Auckland so soon. The negative obviously being that I now don't have a job and still haven't gigged in New Zealand. The positives being that I have now had the opportunity to travel a bit, see how beautiful New Zealand is and do some amazing things that rival stand-up as an adrenaline rush (caving and jumping 15000ft out of a plane being the highlights). I am also now aware that once we have travelled the country and seen what we want to, we are probably going to find work somewhere and settle down a bit again unil the Rugby World Cup in September, meaning I will have plenty of time in the future to gig in New Zealand. It just means I will have to brush off the cobwebs a bit and almost start from scratch. The only other option being that instead of finding work, I take a holiday to Samoa on my way home and get back to the real world by the end of the Summer. Only time will tell, my plans seem to change on a daily basis, as anyone wo has been backpacking will tell you.
Although it is not entirely to do with me, I wanted to share a little something because I think it's both interesting and very cool. I have kept in touch with my old housemate and parner in comedy crime from Melbourne, Dil, and have discovered that while he has only been doing comedy for a year and a half-ish, he has recently progressed leaps and bounds with his comedy. He has had his first spot as an MC at the Blah Blah Comedy Club in Melbourne, is doing a show at the Melbourne Fringe Festival, and (most impressively) is soon to be doing his first invitational gig in Canberra, a place so boring I had no idea laughter had been discovered there. I'm pretty sure that most of the time, the only entertainment available to the people of Canberra is to either visit an elderly relative in a care home (which is as exciting as being at a theme park if you're from Canberra) or standing on the street and counting the amount of tourists that drive through Canberra and decide it's too boring to spend one night.
I'm totally aware that none of that had anything to do with me but he told me about it via a Facebook message which contained some lovely things about yours truly so I thought I would embarrass him by posting it on the World Wide Web, so here it is:
"Lover boy, just a quick story coz I know ure one of the people that will genuinely be happy about this without resentment. I got offered a to do a spot in canberra, where they drive u there and back, provide accommodation and also pay for a bit of booze. Maaaan I can't tell u how pumped I am about this.
I'm not telling you this just to brag...well of course there is a little bit of that hahaha. But honestly I just wanted you to keep gigging and keep at it. U already hav the ability of knowing when something is funny and also how to make it sound funny when telling a group of unknown. So don't let that gift go to waste. Please keep at it.
Also, you're a faggott. Go fuck yourself.
Love always,
Dil"
How nice is that? I am both very happy for him and very jealous of him in equal measures. Also I just wanted to prove to the world that I know him just in case he becomes massively famous.
I think that's about it for now. It's very frustrating for me that I don't have more to say, but until I stay in one spot for a while I won't be gigging. Hopefully within the next month I will have another job and be on the road to comedy success again.
I'll keep you posted in the meantime.
Hugs and Kisses
Sean
