The "Green Room"......

   Hello again,

     So...........Another week has past. For me that means another week of living on the breadline of being an unemployed backpacker. I've been looking for some kind of work now for a month and so far all I've managed to get was a day lifting box after box after box of legal paperwork down two flights of stairs and loading it into a truck to be transported to a new office. I did this for 8 and a half hours and the woman paid me $60. I nearly gave her a slap, tore it up and spat in her face, but fortunately for me I have the foresight to see that $60 is enough to buy me about 200 packets of 2 minute noodles, and I'm told food is a necessity. I was also well aware that no matter what pittance she decided to pay me, it was better than sweet F.A (which I think is the technical term for my current salary). My days are currently filled with applying for shit jobs I really don't want, but really really need, social networking, and watching TV and movies. And yet I still manage to spend money everyday! I have no idea how but my bank account has whittled away to almost nothing in just under a month.

     What does this have to do with comedy I hear you all ask? Nothing. I just want you to understand the pickle I'm in and how the workshop and gigs have become a sweet release from the reality of unemployment and borderline depression. It's not comedy anymore, it's therapy.

     However, some note worthy things have happened to me since we last spoke. I have been to another workshop, had another gig and been to an open mic event that I haven't been to before. This one is on a Thursday at The Exford Hotel on Russell Street. I went for two reasons really. One - To check out the standard of other comedians I may not have seen before (just to see how I shape up). And two - To scope the venue out as a potential gig for myself. As far as the standard of comedians go, it was pretty good. There were some very funny people there. A definate step up from Syn Bar. I'm not sure how I would do there but it is definately a place I will book a gig at once I'm a bit more sure of myself and my work. In terms of a venue, it's pretty cool. There is a plain brick wall as a backdrop to the stage (the kind of brick effect that some venues use as a pattern on a curtain as a backdrop), and the lighting is pretty good, the room doesn't go pitch black except for a spotlight shining in your eyes. However I noticed some real drawbacks to the places I've been to before. For starters, The Exford is a pub, meaning people haven't necessarily gone there to see comedy. There were a couple of groups of people who were clearly just there for a few pints and felt the need to force out their conversations over whoever was on stage at the time and some of them decided after a few pints that they were funnier than the comedians and would heckle. Nothing offensive, but still pretty fucking annoying. I personally feel that that would intimadate me as a performer at the moment, I don't have the experience or confidence to be dealing with arse holes like that. I feel like my only tactic would be to take the teachers approach of "If you have something so important to say little boy, then come up to the front of the class and say it". But other than that, I think the Exford will be somewhere I will gig sooner than later.





Me doing my set and obviously being hilarious

    As mentioned, there was also a workshop on Tuesday. Good numbers attended again and I was confident of getting up and trying my new stuff out. But it seemed everyone had that idea and as I waited patiently for my turn, we simply ran out of time and had to move on. Since the first workshop of the New Year, I've had high hopes for where it could take me. We were all told that this year, the Comic's Lounge was going to make more of an effort to get guest speakers down to each session to coach and advise us on any issues we want to discuss. I was pretty excited about getting to pick the brains of some of Melbourne's best and brightest acts. But in the following weeks I haven't actually seen anyone. On Tuesday the guy who was supposed to come just didn't show up, not the most professional, and if I could remember his name I'd make sure I didn't show up at his gigs too. I have no idea if anyone came the week before, I had to leave early to take my girlfriend to the aquarium. Lame excuse but hey-ho. But the other thing mentioned at that first session of the year, is that the Lounge will be looking to push comedians further, and will be offering the best ones some Wednesday and Thursday night gigs. This was, and still is, a pretty exciting prospect for me (And I imagine for everyone there) because it would mean a leap from doing open mic gigs where anyone can have a go, to doing proper gigs in front of paying audiences. I don't know if they are paid gigs or not but it would be handy in my current situation! Time will tell I guess whether any of what they said was true.

    The other, much bigger, much more personal, and much more relevant to this blog story is that I had my SECOND GIG after the workshop on Tuesday. The reason this is much bigger news isn't that is was another gig. It was that (unknown to me until people arrived), the restaurant was serving food at an open mic night for the first time ever. I've been to open mic nights at the Comic's Lounge before and have never seen a bigger crowd than about 50 or so people so I doubted serving food would have made little difference to the size of the audience. But couple that with the fact nobody had work the next day due to it being Australia Day, it made the audience unbelievably huge. For me anyway. I had only done one gig in front of an audience of approximately 25 in a dark, back alley bar in China Town. Now I was about to gig at a proper comedy club in front of a full audience of around 250 people!
    I really felt more confident about my set until I saw the hoards of expectant people arrive. Then suddenly fear struck me like a fucking lightning bolt, I starting getting the sweats again and couldn't stop needing a drink (swiftly followed by not being able to stop needing a piss). The really cool thing about playing at the Comic's Lounge though is the set-up. Everything is very professional. Before I went on, I was sat reading through my materal with a beer in the green room. The line up that night was made up of very very established comics who have done tonnes of TV, radio and fringe festival shows. I found myself in some pretty impressive company and I really wish I hadn't drank so much to calm my nerves so I could remember who they were! But, really, who would of thought three months ago that I would find myself sipping beer in the green room of a comedy club with a bunch of TV personalities. Not me.


The Green Room of the Comic's Lounge



   My thoughts on the gig iteslf are mixed. The audience laughed at my jokes which was a good thing so I was very happy to have made a large audience laugh. But when I'm nervous I have a tendency to rush what I'm saying. This time I purposefully did exactly the opposite to slow it down and make it more controlled. I left nice big gaps between jokes and gave the audience plenty of time to laugh. But in my opinion I think that may have made it look patchy. Like sometimes I couldn't remember my lines. I hope this wasn't the case but I guess I'll find out on Tuesday at the next workshop. Fingers crossed that I don't get another "Yeah, easy audience" comment. I also got one of the guys to film my set on his phone so I could see how it went. I haven't had a chance to see it yet but that will be a good indicator to how it went.

   So this coming Tuesday I'm on at Syn Bar again. I'm a bit dubious as to whether to do exactly the same thing I did there a couple of weeks ago. I think the fact they will have seen it already will take away the funniness. But then again, I don't have anything else to do so tough titties. It will be a good test of how funny my material actually is if I can make the same people laugh with the same material again. We shall see.

   One other very quick point. I've been wondering if I should change the name I go on stage to. Currently it's just my name, Sean Gorman. But when I'm messing about and telling jokes with mates I always refer to myself as Sean Michael Gorman, as in "You wouldn't catch Sean Michael Gorman doing that" or "No-one can resist Sean Michael Gorman". I don't make a habit of reffering to myself in the third person but when I do, and I use my middle name as well, it seems to make what I'm saying funnier. So I'm considering using it as my comedy name to see how it goes down. Or is it going to just make me look sound like a bell end? I'll ask around and get back to you.

   Once again, I will check in next week to explain what went well and what went wrong and we'll see if we can improve. I will also hopefully of booked myself in for a few other gigs too to keep the whole experience ticking over.

     All my love,



         Sean



The audience (and size of it) at the Comic's Lounge during my gig







The Reviews Are In.....

Dear All,

    The lack of new postings are down to one thing..... laziness. Plain and simple, I had shit to do so haven't been on to post a new, informative, intriguing, thought provoking and down right hilarious update to the Comedy Journey in over a week now.
    I went to the workshop last Tuesday (18.01.11), and was actually a bit nervous. Probably as much as I was when I first attended the workshop. Having had my first gig on the previous Tuesday, and knowing that my audience was made up of some of the more established comedians from the area, I was hoping to get lots of feedback from them regarding my gig. I was more hoping someone to say "Wow, your gig was amazing, I've put in some calls and you've got a slot on Saturday Night Live and Ellen DeGeneres wants you on her show for an in-depth interview into your struggles to make it to the top". I was a bit disheartened when that never happened.
    Obviously I didn't really expect that, but a few verbal pats on the back and some "well dones" would have been well received. I would have even settled for some constructive criticism, seeing as normally when we go into the "Who's had gigs" section, we talk for a good few minutes about each one, talking about how new material went down, what the audience was like, people who were there chip in with how they feel it went and each gig gets dissected and evaluated. I was hoping that would happen in my case so I have some direction of how to improve my one and only set.
   The turn out to the workshop was pretty huge compared to usual. Tonnes of new people turned up (probably to make good on New Year Resolutions to try something new), there were also some faces I'd never seen before but who have returned after a break from comedy, but I was slightly annoyed that there didn't seem to be anyone I recognised there except the guy who runs it (Robbie G). Now, the reason I was annoyed is because these are the people that I was hoping would praise me for a job well done, but because they weren't there, all my hopes laid on the guy who runs the workshop to tell me how good I was (He saw my gig). When it was my turn to talk about how my gig went, I told them I think it went OK, but I have nothing to compare it to so only time would tell. This was the queue for the Rob to interrupt me and say "No way, that was a good gig, you were funny and you got plenty of laughs", but actually all he said was "That's fair, it was an easy audience, they were very responsive". How shit is THAT?! I thought it went really well, all things considered. I had people come up to me after the gig telling me so. So surely something better could have been said than that?
   I'm not one to dwell on the past, so it hasn't shaken my confidence (or lack of). I still have at least two more gigs pencilled in, one of which is this Tuesday actually at the very impressive setting of Comic's Lounge in North Melbourne. I'm quite looking forward to this one because the room is so professional (lighting, seating arrangement, stage etc etc), although I'm 1,000,000% sure that this will make me more nervous on the night. I'm even going to take my camera and get people to take pictures and videos, which I'll try and put on here as and when I can. So anyway, like I said, it hasn't changed my enthusiasm but it did temporarily give me stage paralyis. By that I don't mean stage fright or anything, but I wanted to try some new material out to everyone and because of my "stage paralysis" (and partially my caution due to the new faces) I decided against it. Or to word it slightly more accurately, I pussied out. Onwards and upwards I suppose.


The venue for my next adventure

    So in summary, my next is gig this Tuesday (Shit, it's been out of my mind for a while and I can't seem to get my head around the fact that it's not this Tuesday.....It's TOMORROW!!), and then I have another one booked in for the following Tuesday. By that time though I fully expect my offer for Saturday Night Live. I will try my very best to get some form of photos, if not a video on here so you can at least make a judgement for yourself about me. And I will be heading to the workshop to see if I have enough testicles to try new stuff out. It's been brewing inside me now for a couple of weeks so I think it's time to let the cat out of the bag.
   That reminds me actually, I still have at least three more personal hurdles to jump which are worth a mention. I am yet to let my lovely girlfriend see me perform yet. I am slightly hesitant on account of how my rehearsal in front of her went, I believe "Why don't you try a parody?" were her exact words. But I will get her down to see me soon as I think she's had to put up with the workshops, rehearsals, constant scribbling of notes and, of course, a blog to write. She may as well get to see the end product. The next hurdle is having the confidence to perform in front of friends outside of the workshop. Nobody actually knows I do it so doing it in front of them will be tough first time around, another thing I will have to address as I get deeper into the whole thing. The last thing is, as already touched upon, I haven't told anybody about my venture into comedy. The reason I started it is because I'm on the other side of the world, where I have the comfort of being able to try new things without being judged or commented upon by the people whose judgements and opinions I care most about. So at some point soon (ish) I'm going to have to tell my family, friends, ex-workmates and team-mates from my rugby club that I now stand up in front of audiences in Melbourne and try to make them laugh, or snigger at least. How that will go down I have no idea!
   So yeah, that's this weeks update. Stay tuned in for more ramblings from a man out of his depth.

Stay safe,
   Sean

More sweat than anyone could have imagined........

Welcome again,

    So as I mentioned last time, I was not 100% sure if my gig was going to go ahead, if I'd misheard the date of the gig, or if I'd imagined the whole thing and it was never going to happen. All I knew is that the comedy workshop at the Comic's Lounge was resuming again after the Christmas hiatus, and some of the guys I knew from there had gigs pencilled in for that night. So I decided the best plan of action was to attend the workshop, then head down to Syn Bar to see if I was going onstage or not.

    It's probably easier to follow if I start at the top and talk about the workshop first and then the talk about what occurred at Syn. The workshop was back and I was pretty keen to get back involved so I left in plenty of time to get there. The other reason for leaving early was because I really needed 15 minutes of quiet time to go through my routine in my head because as it stood, I was two hours before a potential gig and still couldn't remember all of my jokes. Turns out, surprise surprise, you can't rely on public transport. I never got my 15 minutes and only just made it in time, so I decided the next best thing to do would be to get up on stage during the workshop and go through my routine in front of everyone (although I really didn't want to, I was nervous enough, effectively doing two gigs in one night may have given me a coronary!). In my head, the worst option to have taken would of been to not get on stage and rehearse my routine. That would have left it to the last minute of learning my jokes and put further pressure on me. Turns out, that's exactly what I did. I totally bottled getting in front of people and sat quietly throughout the entire workshop, which not only made me more nervous but made me feel like a complete wimp too (how was I going to get on stage and perform for strangers if I couldn't do it for friends?!).



Elephants are scared of mice,
not fat chicks



      The workshop went on, as it usually does, by starting with people talking about gigs they've had, which was none seeing as everywhere had shut down over the Christmas period. We then went on to inviting people onto the stage to try out new material they have written. I'm only going into so much detail about the workshop because it was it at this time that, to me, the funniest thing of the evening happened. A female comedian who has been around for a little while got on stage to try some new stuff. To briefly describe her, she's about 5' 4" and is of a larger, shall we say, frame. But because she has blonde hair and clear skin, she is the sort of larger lady that believes she can pull off short skirts and revealing tops (that bares no relevance to the story, I just want to paint an image). Anyway, in her new material, she talks about how her bedroom is very messy and she found a mouse in it the other day and she got scared. When she finished, the audience were invited to comment, ask questions or constructively criticise. The words that came out of the mouth of the first guy to comment not only took the girl on stage by surprise, but made the entire room turn to look at him in disbelief that he'd said it. In his words: "No reflection on you, but when you mentioned a mouse I was hoping you'd go on to mention how elephants are scared of mice". I have to say for a comedian, she got alot more defensive than I'd expected. Usually comedians can laugh at themselves. But she responded with "How, exactly, is that no reflection on me? What, exactly, are you trying to say?". The guy that made the comment visibly sank in his seat, apologised and promised the room he'd be quiet. It's not often I exerience an awkward silence that I didn't cause, and frankly it was very nearly not silence at all because I was ready to piss myself laughing!

      Onward to the moment of truth, was I to have my very first gig? Not only a gig, but the very first time I'd addressed an audience. To say the tram ride into the city was nerve racking was an understatement. I was cacking my pants at the mere prospect.
     I got to the venue and immediately hunted down the organiser to find out if I was on. He confirmed I was, indeed, to be performing and not only that, but I was opening the second act. The only positive I could see at the time was that I wasn't on first and that, maybe, the audience would be drunk enough to find me funny by the time I got on. The build up to my debut was a bit of a blur. It seemed to go particularly fast as I frantically read through my material. I wasn't ready. Not only did I not know my lines, I didn't even look ready. I was sweating beyond belief, we're talking gi-normous sweat patches under each armpit, a big one on my back and beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. I promise this is no exageration that my palms were so sweaty, my fingertips went wrinkly. My notebook of jokes has water stains on the pages and the ink has run. I genuinely thought I was close to that coronary.


I wish I was only sweating this much



   To my amazement, not only did I manage to remember EVERY SINGLE JOKE, but the audience actually laughed at every single joke. I put this down to three factors. Firstly, I think I was correct in saying there had been plenty of drinking time to lubricate the senses of the audience. Secondly, I think my British accent fooled the audience into thinking I'm an established comedian gigging in Australia, which naturally makes them more open to allowing themselves to find me funny. And lastly, and probably leastly, maybe I was pretty funny. Only time will tell I guess.

     I was so relieved I could of pissed myself. I guess you can't win in those situations, you piss yourself through fear then piss yourself through relief. But there were definately more positives to come from the it and at least I have a good idea of what to expect now.
  
    Having said that..... I guess I should mention what's in store for me next. Well, I have my SECOND EVER GIG already booked for the 25th January at the Comic's Lounge in Melbourne. I'm already alot more confident going into this one and hopefully it will go just as well as the last. Also, I have another gig pencilled in at Syn on the 1st February. So in the space of a month I will have gone from never having done a gig, to having done three. Exciting times ahead me thinks. I also have some new material I've been writing that I might try at the workshop in the coming weeks. Whether that is any good is still to be seen.

     I'll catch all you comedy lover's and wannabees next time,

                 Sean

The gig is nearly upon me.......

Hi chums,


   It's been a bit longer than I would usually like between posts, but it's difficult because the workshop finished for the year about 3 weeks ago and doesn't start until this Tuesday ( 11th January). The gigs at Syn finished at the same time so I have been completely out of touch with anyone and everyone from the comedy circuit. In other words.....I have no idea what's going on.
   My only real link to stand up is my old house mate, Dil, who has been in Sri Lanka for the past month for Christmas and New Year and doesn't get back until the 16th. He's usually the go-to guy if I have any questions or need to contact anyone, but like I say, he's out of reach. That's left me a bit stranded really because I'm 99.9% sure my FIRST EVER GIG is on the 11th (I thought I booked it in for Tuesday the 10th but that doesn't seem to be right so I'm making an assumption). Because of my slight doubt that I have a gig booked, I've tried sending a couple of e-mails to the organiser of the evenings to see if he can clarify. Turns out he likes to be awkward and not get back to people. I've also tried "facebooking" anyone I can find who goes to the workshop to see if they know, but all they know is that Open Mic starts again on Tuesday. It's made preparing for it pretty hard to be honest. While everytime I think about it I suddenly feel the need to empty my bowels, another part of me doesn't even think I'll be doing it. Add that to the fact that over Christmas I have done zero rehearsals and I can't remember half of my routine, and I think we have a recipe for disaster.
  It's wierd, I've known for ages I had this gig pencilled in. But I've spent more time writing more material than focusing on the stuff I already have. Everytime I think "Right, let's sit down and read through my routine", I then decide I've got plenty of time to do it another day. What doesn't help is that in my head, my gig is in 2011. So despite the fact I don't know it by heart with 2 weeks to go, in my head I'm going "What's the rush, the gig isn't 'til next year!".

    So what have I been doing? Well, working mostly. My glamorous job as a car detailer came to an end on New Year's Eve as I had worked for my employer for the maximum time allowed according to my visa. So due to the fact I knew I wasn't going to have an income soon, I worked my arse off over the Christmas period. I did get a couple of days off to relax, like Christmas Day, but that was a wasted day off. I'm travelling with my girlfriend so it's just us here. I don't have any family in Australia, nor does she. And the few friends we have made here either went home for Christmas, or had moved on to their next backpacking destination. So, essentially, we spent Christmas alone. It was nice but we aren't the sort of people to plan things. We thought we'd play it by ear and hopefully find a pub that was open to have a drink and maybe even a roast dinner. But reality was very different. We walked down to where the main road of pubs and restaurants are near us and nothing was open. However the trams were running on Sunday timetable, so, in all our wisdom we decided to take a tram ride and see where it took us. This may sound like a spontaneous and potentially fun filled journey but it was not. It took us half an hour up one very long road, which we spent looking out the window at all the closed shops, the half an hour back down again. By this time we were pretty peckish so we stopped for some food. Where did we have our Christmas Lunch I hear you ask? ..........Hungry Jacks. That's Burger King for anyone not in Australia currently. Yep, I had a double whopper with cheese for Christmas dinner. How depressing.



 The Christmas Lunch I'd been dreaming of.



   So basically, I didn't spend my Christmas learning my routine, or anything constructive for that matter. I spent it cleaning cars and eating Hungry Jacks.

      The other thing I thought I'd mention, which I kind of touched on earlier, is how nervous I get when I think about my gig. I think it's natural to be nervous and I think it will end up being ok, but until yesterday I hadn't shown my girlfriend any of my routine. Mainly because I'm aware of the fact my material is mainly about sex and willies which I knew she would think is crude and aiming for a cheap laugh. But I decided I'd practice in front of her for the first time last night.........it wasn't what I was hoping for. Her first reaction was, "why don't you write a parody instead?". When I explained that I wasn't going to go in a whole new direction less that a week before my gig, her response was "It just wasn't very long and I only got one joke". Like I said, this wasn't how I wanted her to react. I wanted her to flat out lie and tell me it was hilarious and I was going to kill it. But she didn't, and now I'm more nervous than ever.
   So that's about it. That's all the updates I have for now, I guess the next time I write I will of not only attended another workshop, I will of done my first gig too! And you'll be the first to know how it goes!

   Lots of hugs and kisses,
  
       Sean